I love you Pink....

Subject: I love you Pink.... Sun May 17, 2009 2:34 pm

You know Pink good thing I love you cuz I you are right about my life way too often.... nuts

I ended up in emergency Thursday night....I'm OK , but I had been having severe abdominal pain for about 10 days, I wasn't paying attention to it, until Thursday when the pain got way too intense....guess what, I have an ulcer....

I see you rolling your eyes missy hearts

I will tell you that after my melt down at work, I took the time to write a list to my boss of my resentments, issues, and what I was willing to do and what I needed others to start stepping up to the plate for. dancen

And finally it is beggining to happen....My stress level is down by at least 60% and I am making myself not take ownership and walk away from alot that my manipulative coworker tries to drag me in to. She actually apologised to me about her actions, we will see how long her behavior last, God has that one not me......

So for today I am off to a bead show, waiting for my friends to pick me up. We are also going to pick up Jenns graduation present. Last night was her prom...I have pics to show you all when the kitchen table is back up. Any of you that would like an announcement of hers to see her cute picture on it, let me know and I will send you one...

I love you all...Baydon waiting to hear from you my friend!!!

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Sun May 17, 2009 8:07 pm

I am learning (slowly) that people take as long as they take to learn life lessons.
Some of us have higher pain tolerances that others. You took years of abuse and unfortunately
it just takes a while for you to recognize your pain... too busy trying to make everything okay.
A wonderful survival technique. You needed that coping skill back then. Your head just hasn't
figured out that it is safe to let it all go now. You are no longer in physical peril. Our fight or flight
centers and adrenals are on auto pilot mode and we need to take the wheel back. Frightening as
it is.

I did not roll my eyes. I said a prayer for your healing instead.

Keep reminding yourself to stay in your own hula hoop and keep your own manipulative ways in check.
Page 61 of the big book says it perfectly. We "may appear kind, considerate, patient,
generous; even modest and self-sacrificing" sounds just like you doesn't it...
read the rest it is awesome.
You are powerless over your peers at work and your friggin insane if you think otherwise.
all you will wind up doing is hurting yourself further. Acceptance was the answer.

Did you follow through on the CODA meeting? How was it? You DID go right?

I love you and I'm SO happy your not in the nut hut where you really belong!

Give Jenz hugs. I've been fighting this vertigo and infection so I haven't been out and about at
all. Even missed last sundays meeting, but I'll be there tonight if Jim has to carry me in.

Your doing fine, follow doctors orders and thank you So much for sharing with us what can happen.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but it takes what it takes.

I love you

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Sun May 17, 2009 9:25 pm

Yup I did....felt weird, I need to go again and listen harder, it felt like their issues were far worse than mine, that's why I think I need to go again and listen harder, I tend to try and mimimize my own codependency (my part of manipulation I'm sure.

Still having vertigo? Oh that is just miserable, hope you feel better soon. pray

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Sun May 17, 2009 9:29 pm

Page 61 of the big book says it perfectly. We "may appear kind, considerate, patient,
generous; even modest and self-sacrificing" sounds just like you doesn't it...
read the rest it is awesome.

It sounds like me in the worst way.....that is why I am thankful this program suggest progress not perfection....slowly I may be able to stay in the progress part. think

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Sun May 17, 2009 11:51 pm

Hi Wyserheart Smile

I think I PM'd you a note on 12SR already but that doesn't do us any good right now!

I arrive in San Diego May 27th and leave on June 4th. dancen

I will be staying with my daughter in Temecula.

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Mon May 18, 2009 2:36 am

wyserheart214 wrote:: I am thankful this program suggest progress not perfection....slowly I may be able to stay in the progress part.

Amen to that sister! I've kept my knee pads on for a very long time. Until I stop falling down I need em.
It is hard to see ourselves. We have a disease of perception. That is why I seek criticism, why I
love fear and pain. Not because I'm masochistic, but because I can't surrender what I can't see.

Page 61 also describes me... I'm the opposite one from you Manipulative as hell,
just not in such a polite way. I make sure I'M NOT the one getting sick, I'm driving the steam roller.

Together we balance out perfectly.

Lets just both keep trudging the road together.

I love you Laughing

Subject: Re: I love you Pink.... Thu May 21, 2009 3:17 am

And boy am I trudging today.....I can honestly say I do no like anyone in my house today but the cats.... twister

and the littlist one is close. Good thing I love them all... Laughing

Going to bed the day has beat me up no matter how much I have tried to keep everyone at bay....

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